Simply I think if we understood why we are here, what direction we are meant to go in, and what service we are to others...things would be dull. The finding it out, the process, the risk and reward are the flavor of our lives.
This little painting, done over and done over, burned and reborn is If we understood.
take good care,
Rachael

Just a snippet from the scribbles in my sketchbook and more thinking about the creative work that is learning new skills, adapting to difficult situations, and changing behavior as well as altering the world we live in. Let me babble a minute to sort this out, sorta... Perpetual self-improvers are constantly choosing to change themselves. Alter who they are through classes and diets and listening to the advice of others.
And then there are the system (or surface) fiddlers. They enter a situation. Learn it. Settle in and then feel like it is all wrong. This needs to be changed, that ought to be different and then there is that...Change everything and then wait. Get comfortable and want it changed again. Why did we choose this in the first place?
It's possible, it's desirable, it's my hope that we can do both: change ourselves and the things we choose to change. To make little messy things and to make it through trying days in which the goal is malfeasance and the hope is to make some small changes while not upsetting the system or spending too much time worrying (remember to be less sensitive, remember to take a class in auto mechanics, go on a diet.) Is the work of the artist to change the world, herself, or the white of the paper? Do we need to worry that? Can we afford not to? Is ignoring core problems adding to them?
I won't ignore. I won't worry. I will change and be changed. I will remind you that I appreciate your listening and I encourage you to make some changes. Starting being the most difficult, I'll aim to start. Chamber music has nothing to do with this, simply liked the alliteration.
I'm turning my voice down and going to sleep. good night and take care,
Rachael
But first from Tyler I noticed this Artists fund a very good thing .
And Anna is sorting her thoughts out in paintings and prose (damn glad she blogs). And also Keri's bliggity blog whose big changes and clear voice are encouraging and inspiring.

It's a big question: how do you pay your bills as an artist and still have time to make work you believe in? Like a lot of other artists, I work in the art field and have in various ways for a smattering of years interspersed with time as a part time day-jobber and painter. Artists working for art organizations find ourselves getting steady paychecks, using our bodies of knowledge, and (sometimes) getting insurance. But as a co-worker once told me years ago, when asked why he stopped working at an arts organization, "it's depressing how easy it is to exploit artists."
So many little organizations desperately trying to hang on to their own ground overwork, underpay, and slowly drive their staff crazy. Artists grab jobs with small pay and ridiculous responsibilities because we love the art and we love the people and we believe that art should be available, accessible, acheivable for all people (or some similarly idealistic something). But what is the toll on the creative process when you are reminded on a daily basis that the arts aren't a high priority for many, the class stratification of the arts world is here to stay, and often brilliant artists are crappy managers or poor financial planners or shortsighted towards change. If the non-profit world is crazy, the arts non-profit world is even crazier. And what do museums matter when so many go without so much?

So we fight burnout, and we connect, and I sing my little mantra to avoid feeling like I am pissing my passion for painting away. I grin and sing "my job is a dayjob and a dayjob buys my paint. And my dayjob helps other people find themselves as artists and that is important." La di da di da.
Be not exploited, be not idle, be not as grumpy as I sound and please be not silent when you disagree with me.
take good care,
Rachael

Thanks to all who gave us good wishes in this house process, it does look good...

We're inching closer and closer to our first house as we listen to the news reports of thousand fo people displaced and simply gone. I'm spending lots of time wondering where the systems problems are in my job and my country while at the same time I'm just following routine.

Unbelievable to read Charmaine Neville's story, more unbelievable to hear her tell it (follow the video links in the article if you can, trips me up top link it here). We let so many people down. We do this daily when we ignore poverty, when we destruct, destroy, and send hate out there.

Perspective helps all things. Loss and growth are connected deeply.
That said, goodnight.
take care,
Rachael

This week we started the process of buying our first house. I can't stop drawing it; all the leded glass and hardwood floors and original gumwood trim inside has me excited. There is space for me to paint (a sunroom and an attic with heat and lots of windows, backyard and front porch). As two non-profiters with small savings and little hope of amassing more we knew we'd never be able to buy a house in Atlanta but here they aren't expensive and pretty easy to find. We have to go through some more hoops of course (closing is a few weeks away so our fingers remain crossed) but we are excited. Below is a drawing in process of the house and a small picture, I don't want to jinx the closing process any but am pretty damn excited about the whole thing.



Thursday, I started a class in counseling because I am curious about, pulled towards, and interested in helping people solve their own problems. I am not so sure I want to be a counselor but I want to know how to help others, advocate for children, and push, prod and plead for greater compassion. Who knows if I will be a counselor or anything else but learning is important and learning to help seems most important.

Don't know about you but I can't keep my head and heart away from New Orleans and the Gulf Coast for long. The National Story Telling society has a blog of stories about Katrina, it's an honest and powerful spot to witness some stories. Gulp.

Take care of yourselves and your fellow man,
Rachael

oh the new header is a maybe, I oughtta fix it up some but those paintings to the left are examples of the work damaged in our fire earlier this year. A reminder, I hope that all things can be rebuilt, renewed, redone.